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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922166">Useful competition?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosMoe/pseuds/CosMoe'>CosMoe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Silly and kinky [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), race to the edge - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bladder Control, Captured, Caught, Fun, Holding, Male Desperation, Masturbation, No Plot/Plotless (sorta), No Romance, No Sex, No Smut, Omorashi, Other, holding competition, holding contest, just for fun, masturbation for a reason, omorashi but no wetting, pee desperation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:13:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,126</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosMoe/pseuds/CosMoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I really struggled with publishing that fic.<br/>It's similar to "with a little help from my friends" - an idea was stuck in my head and I had to write it.<br/>Maybe there's someone out there who enjoys that specific subject as much as I do.</p><p>So, what have we got?<br/>Two hungover Vikings who are desperate for a pee, four other Vikings who are annoyed by the first two Vikings and all together are caught in a cell/hole in the ground.</p><p>We have Dragon Riders, Dragon Hunters, some kind of omorashi, a tiny little bit of smut, fun, and cringe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Astrid &amp; Fishlegs &amp; Hiccup &amp; Ruffnut &amp; Snotlout &amp; Tuffnut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Silly and kinky [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Useful competition?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Rated M for light sexual action/masturbation and cursing.<br/>Nothing explicit happens.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey you two, are you operational at all?" Hiccup wanted to know when he saw Snotlout and Tuffnut flying by on Hookfang.</p><p>Tuff was sitting behind Snotlout, slumped against the shorter one in front of him and Hiccup was not entirely sure if Tuff was drooling onto Snotlout's shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>"We had a little two-man meeting. What's the big deal?" Snotlout groaned and hung between Hookfang's horns.</p><p>"The big deal is, that you're apparently totally hungover and not ready for action. You should have stayed on the Edge." Hiccup replied and glared at the two, who could hardly keep their eyes open.</p><p> </p><p>"Ugh, you look like you just fell out of bed," Astrid announced when she passed them.</p><p>"Duh! We <em>did</em> just fall out of bed!" Tuff confirmed, then he shoved Snotlout who seemed to fall asleep doubled over on Hookfang's head. "Bring me over to Belch, I need to help my sister fly our dragon."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't you know the saying 'don't drink and fly'? We get along, stay where you are!" Ruff shouted back and wrinkled her nose. "What's the excitement about, at all?" she then asked Hiccup, who flew right in front of her.</p><p>"Emergency mission, I don't know more myself!" with a shrug Hiccup turned to Ruffnut.</p><p>"Let's hope this is not a trap," she mumbled to herself.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, it had been a trap.</p><p>Dragon Hunters had managed to separate the Riders from their dragons and capture them.</p><p>A hole in the ground with a depth of about 10 ft, width, and length of both about 5,5 ft had been dug.</p><p>The hole was closed by a grid, which was embedded in the ground.</p><p>And in exactly that hole the gang was pushed by the Dragon Hunters.</p><p> </p><p>"Ouch, my ankle," Astrid yelled, "I can't get up!"</p><p>The others who had landed more or less softly on the ground at least weren't hurt.</p><p>"Stay seated, Astrid! I think we can do nothing more than wait. Whoever is keeping us caught here will show up sooner or later and tell us what they want, I suppose!"</p><p> </p><p>"I hope so! That's not to bear with you two!" pinching her nose Ruff wagged the smell of her brother and Snotlout away.</p><p>"What? Sorry, we had no time to shower or use the bathroom!" repellently Tuff held his hands up.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, don't make such a fuss. It's only the smell of beer. From the day before." Snotlout burped and earned disgusted looks.</p><p> </p><p>Little by little all sat down on the ground.</p><p>Hiccup helped Astrid to put her foot up.</p><p>"It doesn't seem to be broken. Unfortunately, there's nothing here to cool your ankle. It will swell pretty bad, I guess. Would you two sit down, please? You're making me nervous!"</p><p> </p><p>Tuff, who chewed on his cuticles, shook his head. "No thanks! I'm standing very comfortable."</p><p>Slightly he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.</p><p>"Ha, you have to pee!" Snotlout smiled wickedly and poked his finger into Tuff's belly.</p><p>"Nah, I'm fine! You have to pee! Stop poking me!" Tuff replied and flinched.</p><p> </p><p>"Great, really great! We don't know how long we'll have to stay here. So pull yourselves together." Hiccup glared at the two, who definitely squirmed.</p><p>"Don't worry Hiccup. All is fine over here." sounding anything but convincing Snotlout retorted.</p><p> </p><p>The riders waited in silence for Viggo, Ryker, Krogan, or whomever to come and make demands.</p><p>After a while, Tuff broke the silence and complained: "Someone should finally show up and tell us what they want. The midday-sun burns on our heads, that can't be healthy. We could get sun stroked and dehydrated. I'm bored. And I'm hungry."</p><p> </p><p>"Good that we're not that hung over that one of us would have to throw up." Snotlout mumbled.</p><p>"It certainly is. But too bad for you that beer usually just goes through you!" Tuff teased.</p><p>"If you're trying to distract from yourself, it doesn't work, moron."</p><p>Both stood settled against the wall, legs crossed, and occasionally changed the foot to stand on.</p><p> </p><p>"Ouch, my ankle really hurts. And it's so hot down here. We're much too many persons on way too few space!" Astrid moaned and wiped her forehead.</p><p>"Oh dear, I totally forgot I have a yak bladder with me. The least I could offer is a sip of water. When someone has a cloth we could drench it and put it on your ankle." Fishlegs suggested.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, that would be really great!" Astrid smiled and pulled a cloth from her hip bag.</p><p>Fishlegs poured some water onto the cloth and reached it back to Astrid.</p><p> </p><p>"Wonderful, now stop playing around with water!" Snotlout grumbled.</p><p>"Why? Does it increase a certain need?" the usually goodhearted Viking scoffed.</p><p>"No! But as Hiccup said, we don't know, how long we'll have to wait down here. It would make more sense to drink the water than to spill it, wouldn't it?"</p><p>Tilting the yak-bladder Fishlegs let a tiny amount trickle out of it and smirked over to Snotlout and Tuffnut. "Oopsie! Some of my water leaked." he innocently chimed.</p><p>Snotlout rolled his eyes and Tuff tried to look somewhere else, but his eyes were glued to the drops of water falling from the neck of the yak-bladder.</p><p>Swallowing hard Tuff forced himself to not associate the dripping yak-bladder with his own strained organ.</p><p> </p><p>Exchanging a meaningful gaze they both inhaled deeply and started a new attempt to distract themselves from their urgent need for relief.</p><p>They played a game, but inexplicably it didn't spark as much joy as supposed.</p><p> </p><p>"I see something you do not see and it's brown..." Snotlout said and Ruffnut answered: "The walls. Like the twenty times before. All is brown down here. The walls, the ground. Could we please just stop it and be quiet? You're annoying!"</p><p> </p><p>"We're a little delicate, aren't we?" Snotlout mocked and stuck his tongue out.</p><p>"Okay okay, here's a joke for you: A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey… and a cola.”</p><p>“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was born with them.”</p><p> </p><p>At least Fishlegs giggled. "I have another one, listen: What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck."</p><p>Tuff briefly laughed but then suppressed it: "Don't make me laugh!"</p><p>Pressing his thighs together he tried to inconspicuously rock on his heels.</p><p> </p><p>"I bet you lose it first!" Snotlout hissed and gritted his teeth.</p><p>"Don't know what you're talking about!" Tuff replied deadpan and turned to face Snotlout.</p><p>"Ugh, would you please admit that you have to go to the bathroom, too? It can't just be me! And I thought a little bet could make us hold it longer."</p><p>"Like a holding contest? You don't know who you're challenging!" Tuff closed the distance between them, towered over Snotlout, and glared down at him. "I bet you lose!"</p><p>"May the stronger bladder win! The first price is dry pants." Snotlout said and slightly shoved Tuff away from him.</p><p> </p><p>"Guys, no one of you should lose – you can't let go in here. Astrid can't stand up from the floor and <em>I</em> bet she wouldn't appreciate being seated in your body fluids."</p><p>Astrid retched and answered: "Nope, I wouldn't. So don't you dare to pee inside this damn hole!"</p><p> </p><p>Fishlegs was the only one who seemed to be fascinated: "You didn't pee yet today? And you drank alcohol last night? That's incredible, how strong must your bladders be?"</p><p> </p><p>"That's sheer willpower. A Jorgenson won't give in to a primal need. Plus, I'm too stubborn to lose."</p><p>"I'm just too lazy to go all the time when nature calls. So I'm used to holding it." Tuff shrugged.</p><p>"You guys are morons." Ruffnut sighed and hid her face in her hands.</p><p>"Why does everything have to be a competition?" Hiccup asked and shot dark gazes at his fellow riders, who now openly squirmed. On the other hand, would that kind of competition probably keep their feet dry?</p><p>As long as Snotlout and Tuffnut battled each other none of both would want to relieve himself down here. Secretly Hiccup placed his bet on Snotlout.</p><p>In just that moment Astrid said: "I bet on Snotlout."</p><p> </p><p>With flustered expression, Snotlout looked at Astrid, but then he nodded: "I won't disappoint you!"</p><p>"I go with Snotlout, too." putting his hand on Snotlout's shoulder Hiccup smiled encouraging at the smaller one.</p><p>"Wow, thanks Hiccup!"</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry guys, I know my brother's holding skills. You have no chance, Jorgenson!" Ruff said while getting up and positioning herself next to Tuff.</p><p>"Thanks, sis. What about you, Fishlegs?" Tuff wanted to know.</p><p>"Uh, screw it! I'm with Tuffnut!"</p><p> </p><p>"So we have two teams now! What's the price for the winning team?" asking that Hiccup knew he could distract all his Riders from the precarious situation in which they found themselves.</p><p>And it was much better to keep them occupied and in a good mood, than letting them get desperate about their conditions.</p><p>He had to chuckle about the unintended pun – desperate...</p><p> </p><p>After taking a deep breath Hiccup explained: "I suggest the loser-team has to clean up the stables of all dragons for three days. But before the bet starts I want to introduce some rules.</p><p>Number one: no one is allowed to touch the player of the opposite team. So no poking and teasing at the belly!</p><p>Number two: every player may do what's necessary to stay dry.</p><p>Number three: no one is allowed to make fun of the player of the opposite team."</p><p>"But Hiccup, where's the fun when we're not allowed to make fun of Snotlout?" he got interrupted by Ruffnut.</p><p> </p><p>"The disregard of the rules brings penalty points! Rule number four: every spurt less than a shot glass doesn't count as wet. In case of emergency: use your helmets."</p><p> </p><p>"And now what?" Tuff asked.</p><p>"That's easy, bro. Don't piss yourself!"</p><p> </p><p>Tuffnut and Snotlout didn't really care for the others, they focused on themselves and tried to get themselves relief by breathing, bobbing, squatting, and stretching.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey bro, Snotty's grabbing his crotch. How 'bout you? Feel the urge to tie a knot in your dick?"</p><p>Tuff, who propped up onto his knees, nodded and answered: "Oh yeah, but I thought I would save this for later."</p><p> </p><p>After fifteen minutes more Tuff also slid his hand down south to squeeze his member, which felt numb and ached at the root.</p><p>"Let me take away your belt!" Ruff suggested and started to unbuckle the belt around Tuff's waist.</p><p>"Oh Thor, why didn't you think of it before? That's a lot better." Feeling like a burden had been taken away from him, Tuff enjoyed the freedom to breathe for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, why don't you guys care for me like that?" Angrily Snotlout also undid his belt and glared at Hiccup and Astrid, who sat on the floor and ignored him.</p><p>"Because I'm not your sister?" Astrid replied.</p><p>"Because I care for Astrid's foot?"</p><p> </p><p>"Guys, are you interested in some fun facts about the bladder?</p><p>For example, strained like that a short impact could lead to a rupture of the bladder, with urine leaking into the abdomen, which can lead to sepsis and death." Although Fishlegs tried to cheer his comrades he rather did the opposite.</p><p> </p><p>"Great, it gives the phrase 'I'm dying for a piss' a whole new meaning! Hey Snotlout, can you do that, too?" Tuff pulled up his tunic and sucked his stomach in. His swollen bladder now clearly emerged above the waistband.</p><p>"Holy Odin, that looks pretty hurtful!" disgusted and also fascinated Ruff tried to give the bulge a flick with her fingers, but Tuff grabbed her wrist and made her stop. "No touching, sis! Or do you want me to lose control?"</p><p>Ruff flinched. She was used to inflicting pain on her brother and totally forgot about the rules.</p><p>Back on the Edge, she would have taken him from behind to squeeze his belly so tight, that he would have peed himself until the last drop, just to make fun of him later for not being able to hold it.</p><p> </p><p>But she wouldn't do that in public. And they were on the same team. No, she had to support him! So she turned to Fishlegs. "Don't you know any useful fact that doesn't include the term of dying, that might help him?"</p><p>Ruff pointed at Tuff, who was sweating and gasping painfully.</p><p> </p><p>"Ummm, what could be useful to prevent the sphincter to give in is to support it by increased blood flow into the erectile tissue. The internal urethral sphincter contracts and no fluid leaks out."</p><p>"Could you translate it for the dummy section? I'm currently not able to decipher your technical terms."</p><p> </p><p>Astrid snorted to Tuff's words and grinned into Snotlout's direction.</p><p>"You beat'im with ease, Lout!"</p><p>"Even if Tuff is not on our team, you should not provoke him to lose... we're still stuck together down here," well aware of this problem Hiccup gestured to Tuffnut and the ground.</p><p>Ruff groaned and whispered into Tuff's ear. His eyes widened and terrified he looked at Fishlegs before he snarled indignantly: "You want me to get a boner? There's at least one lady present."</p><p> </p><p>"Ugh, I don't really need to see that!" Astrid confirmed and shifted around to look up to the guys around her.</p><p>For some reason, she didn't consider the ground safe anymore.</p><p> </p><p>"Will it work?" Snotlout asked, turning his front towards the wall to shield his actions from a curious audience.</p><p>"Better than doing nothing and waiting for the floodgates to break, I guess." Hiccup mused and pulled Astrid up.</p><p>She leaned at the wall and tried not to strain her bruised foot.</p><p> </p><p>"So low are your expectations in us, Astrid? That's sad!" Tuff mumbled and shook his head, while he pressed both his hands to his crotch.</p><p>"You're having tears in your eyes!" she replied.</p><p>"Yeah, because it's making me so sad to know that you don't trust us."</p><p> </p><p>Snotlout shivered as he felt his bladder cramp and pushing painfully downwards and he groaned: "Hiccup, you could climb onto Fishleg's shoulders and have a look what's going on up there. I don't feel like it was fun to hold it any longer. Whatever they want, they ought to start negotiations <em>now</em>."</p><p> </p><p>Nodding in agreement Hiccup started to climb onto Fishlegs' shoulders.</p><p>"I hope I don't hurt you with my prosthesis," he said and sat on his knees on Fishlegs' broad frame.</p><p>"Hey, you! We surrender, whatever, would you get us out of here? We're having two emergency cases down here!" Hiccup shouted, not knowing if there was someone around at all.</p><p> </p><p>Now also Tuff turned his back on the other Riders. "You're right, I'll try to lock my urethra. Sounds pretty different to 'I'mma jerking off right now', doesn't it?"</p><p>"No, you're not supposed to climax. Just keep it up. After ejaculation, when you're getting flaccid again the urge to relieve will be stronger than before. So please try not to orgasm." Fishlegs explained.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to do that?"</p><p>"Where should I know? I'm not familiar with your wanking habits! Just try not to cum!" irritatedly because of Tuffnut's lack of ability to think along Fishlegs threw his hands up and made Tuff back away.</p><p> </p><p>"You- you said 'wanking' and not 'masturbating'..." with eyes wide open Ruffnut glimpsed at Fishlegs, taken by surprise by his outburst.</p><p>"Great, how am I supposed to get a hard-on this way? Stop yelling at me, that makes me nervous!"</p><p>"Stop asking silly questions! It's your body, you should know how it works!"</p><p>"Yeah, but usually I wank exactly for said reason, to cum, genius!"</p><p>"But we don't want you to cum! We want you to not pee. We want you to keep your body fluids inside your body, as far as that is possible! Got it?!"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, it's getting better with every minute, don't you think?" Amused Hiccup leaned back and pulled Astrid closer.</p><p>"Kind of entertaining. Considering the danger we are in, I mean..."</p><p> </p><p>"Ha, it works! Hey Tuffnut, wanna see how a real man's doing it?"</p><p>"Ugh, wanna see me barf all over the place?"</p><p>The bickering between the both of them went ahead until Tuff closed his eyes and faded out the ambient noises and found some joy in the sensations which were sent to his brain by his hurtfully full bladder pushing onto his prostate.</p><p>Pain was something he could deal with and this kind of pain was tingling through his pelvis, tickling his nerves.</p><p> </p><p>"There it is... The problem is that I have to keep touching me, otherwise it would deflate pretty quick again."</p><p>"That's a problem for you? Sounds as if you didn't like touching yourself. Just keep it at a steady pace. Not too fast, not too slow."</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, and I'll pretend this all isn't happening at all. It's just an absurd dream, in which I stand in a hole in the ground and watch from behind how Snotlout and Tuffnut are jacking off. Of course to prevent themselves from peeing.</p><p>Above us, Dragon Hunters are keeping our dragons caught and my ankle is bruised.</p><p>Fishlegs uses slang and Ruffnut is speechless.</p><p>That's a wild bedtime story, I can tell ya!"</p><p> </p><p>It didn't take long until Tuff yelled out: "Fuck, fuck, fuck... oh thanks Gods, not yet. Ouch!"</p><p>Snotlout leaned over and asked: "Really Tuff? That's been only one minute, if at all."</p><p>"It's not my fault! My whole body is screaming for discharge."</p><p> </p><p>After several more attempts to hold back the much too big amount of fluids within his bladder by keeping a proper erection Tuff moaned: "Fuck, I'm close again! I'd better stop!"</p><p>"Why are you edging yourself all the time, Mr. Blueballs?"</p><p>"If I stop he deflates!" Frustration mixed into the desperation of the male twin.</p><p>"Okay, but what about thinking about <em>that</em>...."</p><p> </p><p>Snotlout whispered something into Tuff's ear and the taller boy immediately stopped moving his hand, but it was too late.</p><p>"Fuck, Snotlout!" Tuff shouted angrily, trembling after his climax and pulled his hand, now sticky with ejaculate, out of his pants.</p><p> </p><p>"What? I couldn't guess you would jizz in your pants only by hearing that!"</p><p>"It is my most secret sexual fantasy and I told you that in confidence!"</p><p>"So? I didn't tell anyone but <em>you</em>! It's still our secret!"</p><p>"You used it against me!"</p><p> </p><p>Shaking their heads Astrid and Fishlegs exchanged looks.</p><p>"I can't believe that this is just happening." Fishlegs mumbled and Astrid replied: "We need a plan, Hiccup! We have to get out of here, and then we have to get our dragons back!" she concernedly stated.</p><p> </p><p>"I have a plan! I'd really like to clean myself! Astrid, you give me your cloth?"</p><p>Astrid reached to her ankle and pulled off the cloth.</p><p>"Ugh, here you are. You can keep it!"</p><p> </p><p>Curiously Hiccup pointed to the wet spot in Tuff's crotch: "You can still hold it?"</p><p>Tuff had a look inside his pants, then he replied: "Don't worry, it's cum!"</p><p>"Holy Odin, why did I even ask? So, let's make up a plan."</p><p> </p><p>Before Hiccup could make suggestions a deep voice from above bellowed: "Dragon Riders! While you sat down there and enjoyed yourself, my brother and I have made a little excursion to the Edge.</p><p>Unfortunately, we couldn't find the Dragon Eye, so we took all your maps and plans with us.</p><p>Actually, we only need <em>one</em> of you to put all of it together.</p><p>Hiccup, I guess that would be you!" Ryker snarled and glared down at the Riders.</p><p> </p><p>"And if I refuse?" Although glaring back with blatant hatred Hiccup's mood enlightened inside of him.</p><p>He just had to make Ryker let them all out of this cell-hole-in-the-ground.</p><p>"You may refuse! We'll just ask your fellows then for information. And we'll do it so that they would <em>love</em> to answer."</p><p>"What if they don't <em>know</em> how to put it together?" Hiccup asked, now sure about a plan.</p><p>"We'd make them suffer a little. Just enough to make <em>you</em> wanna answer what <em>we</em> wanna know, kid."</p><p> </p><p>Hiccup inconspicuously blinked at Astrid and Fishlegs. Then he turned up to Ryker. "Dare me!"</p><p>"Ha, no problem, boyo!"</p><p>Hiccup quickly whispered to Fishlegs: "When we're out of here you'll have to carry Astrid. Take her piggyback."</p><p>Leaning forward to Ruffnut he demanded: "You'll have to check out where our dragons are. Only focus on the way to get there and how to cause as much damage as possible getting there. You won't have much time. Take Inferno from my boot and hide it beneath your vest."</p><p> </p><p>With a deep sigh Hiccup turned to Snotlout and Tuffnut: "Okay guys, now it all depends on you! I wrote and drew the maps with <em>ink</em>. Destroy them!"</p><p>He gazed at the both of them with meaningful looks, nodding as they understood.</p><p>"Let me see if I got you right: You want us to destroy the maps and make them illegible," Tuffnut smirked.</p><p>"Yeah, you got it! Distraction and destruction, that are your keywords!"</p><p>"Like just made for us!" Snotlout replied and shivered in anticipation.</p><p> </p><p>The grating was opened and several men surrounded the opening.</p><p>Ryker let down a ladder and let Hiccup, Ruffnut, Fishlegs with Astrid on his back, and at last Snotlout and Tuffnut climb out of the hole.</p><p>The gang was circled by Dragon Hunters, there was no way to escape right now.</p><p> </p><p>"Ister-say, he-tay ragons-day re-ay ocated-lay on he-tay eft-lay.</p><p>Ly-onlay ne-oay table-say, ree-thay uards-gay." Tuff hissed in Boar-Latin between his teeth to Ruffnut.</p><p>"Got it!" she replied briefly and memorized the shortest way to their dragons, planning to use the Zippleback gas from Inferno's container to blast the gate.</p><p> </p><p>"What's he babbling?" Ryker yelled at Hiccup and pointed at Tuff, whose face was coated with sweat. His kidneys ached and he felt nauseous.</p><p>"He's slightly uncomfortable with this situation, I guess. I mean, you left us waiting down there for several hours."</p><p>"Ugh, bring them into Viggo's tent!" Ryker shouted at his men, who pushed the gang and poked their spearheads into Snotlout's and Tuffnut's calves.</p><p> </p><p>"Why does that meatloaf carry the girl?" Ryker wanted to know.</p><p>"Because you pushed me inside that nasty hole and I bruised my ankle, you moron? It could probably be broken! Lucky you, so I can't kick your butt!" Astrid snorted from Fishlegs' back.</p><p> </p><p>Inside the tent, they gained an overview.</p><p>Viggo wasn't there, yet.</p><p>The papers with notes, maps, drawings, facts, and figures laid spread out on the ground.</p><p>Ryker immediately went for the papers and shifted them around on the floor, rustling loud enough to notice nothing of which was happening behind his back.</p><p> </p><p>Except for two of the guards, all stayed outside and watched the entrance.</p><p>Hiccup looked at their shadows and slightly poked Ruff with his elbow. "One on the left side, two on the right. Eliminate the two on the right and run for the stable," he whispered hardly audible, but Ruff understood.</p><p> </p><p>She quietly rendered one of the guards harmless with Thor Bonecrusher's secret grip, Hiccup hit the second with his prosthesis.</p><p>She sneaked backwards, slipped through the fabric at the entrance, and kicked two of the guards outside at their heads so that they collapsed.</p><p>Ruff moved lithe and silent like a cat.</p><p>Before the commotion could break out, she almost had reached the stable.</p><p> </p><p>Hiccup fixated his prosthesis again, glad that Ryker hadn't noticed anything, because he was busy looking at all the maps and notes. "Ah yes, the dragons will be ours!" he mumbled.</p><p>Also Astrid and Fishlegs distracting the hunter with fake coughs (it's been very dusty in the hole) and sneezes (yeah, <em>very</em> dusty) and sounds of clearing their throats helped a lot.</p><p>"I made up my mind, Ryker! My two best men will put together all these parts. No need to torture anyone. They know my secrets and will gladly help you.</p><p>Just let's avoid all the violence!"</p><p> </p><p>"Hiccup, I can't..." Snotlout began, but Hiccup interrupted him.</p><p>"You can!" Then he added whispering: "Well-dosed, please! Don't fire all your ammunition at once."</p><p> </p><p>Groaning, Tuff turned to Snotlout and hissed: "Is that tyrant telling us how to <em>piss</em>?"</p><p>Instead of Snotlout Hiccup answered: "Yes, I <em>am</em>! You need to make a lot of information unusable, so..."</p><p>"We got it!"</p><p>Hiccup sneaked out of the tent to help Ruffnut.</p><p>"What's the rummage about? You, would you finally get started?" Ryker bellowed and Snotlout and Tuffnut strolled over to the piles of paper.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Exchanging a look they counted to three, then pulled out their appendages and started to rinse away the ink from the paper and parchment.</p><p>Suppressing moans of that incredible relief they began their work.</p><p>Both had to focus on not letting their bladder empty itself at its own pace but with a controlled jet where it was required.</p><p>Slowly they walked over the records and conscientiously ensured that nothing was visible or recognizable anymore.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, what are you doing there?" Ryker screamed, his face turning red.</p><p>Before he could draw his sword, Astrid had pulled it out of its sheath and wielded it at his actual owner.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she couldn't walk or run, but she still could fight.</p><p>Fishlegs luckily was more agile than he looked. Together they urged Ryker into a corner.</p><p>Pointing at his throat she held the sword towards him.</p><p>"Don't you see they're busy?" Astrid snarled.</p><p> </p><p>But Ryker wouldn't give in without resistance.</p><p>He tried to fumble out a dagger from his boot, but before he could throw it at anyone, it slipped out of his hand and clattered to the ground.</p><p>Immediately Tuff led his stream onto the weapon, scoffing: "You want it? Get it!"</p><p> </p><p>Flinching back Ryker disgustedly growled: "How dare you, brat?"</p><p>Tuff stopped the flow (it hurt beyond words, but Tuff wouldn't admit that in front of the Dragon Hunter), shielded his manhood, and bent over (oh Gods, no good move) to pick up the dagger.</p><p>He held up the dagger, the blade dangling to the ground, dripping with urine.</p><p>Tuff shook it twice, wiped it at his thigh, and stowed it away in an inner pocket of his vest.</p><p> </p><p>Then he turned to Snotlout: "How far have you come?"</p><p>Snotlout made a sweeping gesture. "I'm done with the stacks in front of us, the rows behind, and two single sheets over there. The ink was quite persistent on them."</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, so I'll go over there and go ahead." Tuff's manhood had begun to drip and twitch and he hurried to erase more of Hiccup's eager work.</p><p>Fishlegs and Astrid kept the scoundrel, who knelt in the corner of the tent in check with his own blade.</p><p>"Guys, I guess I've never seen someone piss like that before!" Astrid commented and watched the fellow Riders in awe.</p><p> </p><p>There was paper all over the floor, which dripped and curled because of wetness.</p><p>Snotlout was the one who got himself repackaged first.</p><p>Tuff walked down the rows and inspected their work.</p><p>"Seems like we were done here. Good job, bro!"</p><p> </p><p>Snotlout nodded towards Tuff's groin. "Get dressed then, so we can piss off!"</p><p>"Nice pun! But <em>I</em> am not done, yet."</p><p>Tuff looked around and found a jug, filled with wine to the half, on a table at the back of the tent.</p><p>Two big gulps made their way into Tuff's stomach, the rest was refilled by him again.</p><p>He tossed his head back and moaned throatily, as he finally emptied his bladder completely and filled the jug almost to the brim (it wasn't a very big jug, but Tuff was proud of his work anyway).</p><p>Carefully he placed the jug next to the mug on the table, then he laced himself up.</p><p>As he walked by, he patted Ryker on his bald head.</p><p>"I wouldn't recommend drinking that, although the quality <em>now</em> seems to be better than before."</p><p> </p><p>Snotlout chuckled, Astrid still pointed at Ryker's throat with the tip of his own sword and Fishlegs swayed.</p><p>All were at the end of their tether.</p><p> </p><p>"Let's look for Hiccup and my sister and get out of here!"</p><p>In just that moment the entrance was torn apart and Barf and Belch poked their heads in.</p><p>"May I request, bro? Sit down!" Ruff asked and pointed at Belch's saddle.</p><p>"Hiccup brings along the other dragons."</p><p> </p><p>"What about the Dragon Hunters?"</p><p>"Quite a lot sit in the hole, some are on their escape and some are locked inside the stable.</p><p>Really, Ryker! You weren't prepared well enough.</p><p>Don't you know that a trapper's trap can trap the trapper?" laughing about Dagur's quote the twins took off, while Fishlegs helped Astrid take a seat on Stormfly.</p><p> </p><p>"Shouldn't we tie him up?" Fishlegs asked as Hiccup appeared with Toothless and Meatlug, nodding in Ryker's direction.</p><p>"To be honest, I'm much too tired to deal with him now. I guess he can go on a scavenger hunt and try to set all his mercenaries and his brother free again."</p><p> </p><p>Later on their way back home, Astrid shouted over to Hiccup: "I'll fly straight to Berk, I want Gothi to have a look on my ankle."</p><p>Then she turned to Snotlout and Tuffnut, who flew behind her.</p><p>"I wouldn't have assumed saying such, but your feast of yesterday was of benefit to us today! Your performance was <em>insane</em>!"</p><p> </p><p>"I know! I've never been so desperate like that. Except for that one time, when Snotlout and I have been caught breaking into the Hoffersons' pantry and Astrid's mother locked us in it. She refused to let us out until our parents had the time to pick us up. Whoa, they'd been so angry and Spitelout was about to kill you!</p><p>As I recall, Astrid, your mom sat in front of the door, knitted a scarf, and Snotlout and I were <em>bursting</em> inside there."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, or that one time, when you got hit by the splinter bomb with Speedstinger venom capsules."</p><p>"Oh, don't remind me... you were the one who shot me, by the way. So actually you owe me -"</p><p>"I owe you nothing! You peed all over me, with it my debts are settled!"</p><p>"Fair enough. Maybe we should have a real holding contest someday. With a referee."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Gods, would someone stop them please?" Astrid groaned and wrung her hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe we should ask Dagur, I bet he would be down for that!" Tuffnut mused.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on girl, let's hurry out of here!" </p><p> </p><p>"Astrid, be our referee!" both of the most annoying individuals around crowed and enjoyed with malicious glee, as Astrid turned around and full-heartedly yelled: "Ugh, piss off, Tufflout!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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